“Do you want butter on your popcorn?”
It’s one of those questions you ask when moving solely on autopilot.
“Hi! Welcome to Cherokee 16. Would you like to try a combo today?” Generally, the answer is no. I smile and nod.
“I would like a medium popcorn.” Medium is the size of moderation. Choose a small popcorn, and you are dieting. Choose a large, you are a typical obese American who will not live to see 70. Without thinking, either I or the popcorn drone stationed beside me reach for the neon green and blue bag.
“Would you like butter on your popcorn?” At this point, the customer glances over at the butter pump. There is a moment of uncertainty as they grapple, their will versus the hot, greasy temptation that is embodied in the silver apparatus suspended above the popcorn warmer. They nod. I smile, and inwardly cringing slowly pump three columns of burning oil.
I liked butter on my popcorn before I started working at a movie theater. However, on my first day of work, I was told to refill the butter pumps three times daily. My manager walked me over to the cabinet designated for fat storage and opened it. I was immediately greeted by a large sticker: “Hydrogenated Coconut Oil- A Butter Like Substance”.
“A Butter Like Substance” caught my eye first. I did not expect them to announce their inauthenticity so blatantly. I was almost proud of their honesty. However, hydrogenated I was not so eager to forgive. It sounded menacing.
According to wisegeek.com, hydrogenated oil was originally widely used in the 1930s to prolong the shelf life of various oils. It was also used in bakeries because its melting point is higher than oil which has not been tampered. Most oils contain unsaturated fats, which have some health benefits, but when oil is chemically rearranged, the unsaturated fats become transfat.
According to http://www.cspinet.org/nah/popcorn.html, “A large popcorn contains about 80 grams of fat, 50 of which are saturated. That is nearly three days worth of saturated fat. ” This is before I have pumped extra butter onto your purchase. This adds another 130 grams of fat. This is approximately the same amount of saturated fat you would be consuming in six Big Macs.
Your medium-sized moderation does not impress me.
April 8, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Popcorn is a vile, vile substance, and one I plan on discussing in a future blog as well.
Fortunately, at my place of imprisonment (Ingles Video Dept.), we have no butter pumps. I cannot even FATHOM the annoyance that must add to the process, because I know how finicky people can be with just the basic butterless stuff. (Of course, our popcorn IS made with a butter-like stick during the popping process, but we both know that’s just a cheap imitation as well- thank God.) Do your customers constantly complain about the “freshness” of your popcorn? Because, honestly, that seems to be the sole concern of about 90% of the people I encounter.
April 8, 2008 at 4:07 pm
It is frightfully amusing to note the similarities and differences between restaurant life and movie theater torture. I envy the reading. I fear the sour patch kids. I grimace at the cleanup, so many kernels, so many tables, so few tips. The biggest assumption is the chance to see “free movies” but alas I can see through your descriptions that it must be a brief moment at best depending on the shift, as the managers want to milk that $5.75 for all it’s worth. Your voice and diction provide a hilarious mix. Thanks.
Robert